THE ART OF FLEXIBILITY: MATCHING COMMUNICATION STYLES WHILE STAYING TRUE TO YOURSELF
Photo by Oksana Taran on Unsplash
To be an effective and credible communicator, you need to focus first on the person you’re interacting with and adapt your approach to match their communication style.
How do you do that without compromising who you are?
As a leader, it can feel like there’s a very fine line between authenticity and adaptability.
This came up recently when I was working with a group of executives. One admitted he’s a very analytical communicator, preferring data-driven decisions to discussion and collaboration.
He was aware this put him at risk of coming across to his team as aloof and unrelatable, but he struggled trying to communicate in a more connected way because he felt like he was being fake.
Hats off to him for his honesty and vulnerability.
We humans are a social species, wired to connect. Within that broad brush, there are different communication styles.
To trust you, some people need to feel a strong sense of rapport; that you’re interested in them and what they do, including away from work. Others are happy to keep interactions on a more formal level, without what they’d consider chit-chat or fluff.
If you know you’re very much at the all-business-and-no-socialising end of the scale, understand that others in your team are likely to have a different style to you. You can make subtle shifts to your style so it more closely matches theirs, without changing your personality or treading on your own values.
The key is to keep it simple. The basics of human connection have never gone out of fashion.
• Greet the other person with a smile.
• Look at them when you speak.
• Listen out for common ground. If they mention a hobby or cause you have an interest in, let them know.
Those three steps are completely achievable without compromising anything about your deeper self. If it feels uncomfortable, keep your eye on the prize; building trust that will help your team achieve even greater results.
Authentic communication isn’t about doggedly sticking to your way of doing things. It requires flexibility and a willingness to try different approaches in the interest of building stronger relationships.
Dr Neryl East is a professional speaker and executive coach who shows leaders how to be heard, stand out and command influence. Connect with Neryl on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/neryleast/
