GHOSTING MIGHT BE THE NORM, BUT HERE'S WHY COURAGEOUS COMMUNICATION IS A BETTER CHOICE
Have you ever acted like a ghost?
If you have to say no to someone who was expecting a yes, it can be tempting to simply let the conversation peter out and not give a response at all.
It's interesting that ghosting seems to have become socially acceptable in an age when responding to someone has never been quicker or easier.
I was ghosted a few weeks ago after I invited someone to speak at one of my events.
He'd originally accepted, but as the date got closer and we tried to confirm, there was radio silence. Emails, phone calls, and various forms of text messages went unanswered, yet I could see he was active online.
I felt like a stalker – and a frustrated one at that, because I had no way of knowing whether he would turn up on the day. Finally, I decided to cancel the event rather than risk it.
Being on the receiving end of a ghosting manoeuvre reminded me of the effect ghosting can have on a person’s credibility and reputation. It can seem like an easy way out, but there are three downsides:
1. Ghosting demonstrates a lack of reliability. In their model The Trust Equation, Maister, Green and Galford pinpoint reliability as one of the four key variables that measure trust. You can be the most qualified person in the room, and even the most popular, but if others think you’re unreliable, they won’t trust you. A person who ghosts is sending an “I’m not dependable” message.
2. Ghosting shows a lack of courage. A ghoster is practising avoidance; usually trying to get out of having an uncomfortable conversation. If you want to build credibility in any situation, especially if you have to let someone else down, be proactive and say it how it is. A polite no clears the air. A non-answer reflects poorly on the ghoster and their reputation.
3. Ghosting is inconsiderate. A person who chooses to disappear into thin air shows a lack of respect for other people’s time and stress levels. Generally, we humans prefer to receive bad news up front rather than being left wondering.
What do you do in situations where your response might upset the other person? To build strong relationships, including with your team, stay on the front foot with your communication. Remember, silence also sends a message.
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Dr Neryl East is a professional speaker and executive coach who shows leaders how to be heard, stand out and command influence. Connect with Neryl on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/neryleast/
