IS THERE A MISSING LINK IN THE WAY YOU COMMUNICATE?
Photo by TETrebbien on Unsplash
Have you experienced that one person who doesn’t run with the pack?
I remember leading a workshop where one participant seemed determined to undermine me.
From the moment she entered the room I sensed trouble. She sat down heavily and let out a sigh, glancing disdainfully at the training material in front of her.
“Yep,” I thought, “there’s always one”.
During the morning I could hear her muttering in a critical tone to the person beside her. Later, when I asked the group to stand and change seats, guess who doggedly stayed put and let everyone move around her.
I joked about it and she said, with an eye roll, “Well, why should I move when everybody else is moving?”
During the lunch break I stole five minutes in a quiet corner and was surprised to see her approaching me.
“Sitting on your own isn’t a good look,” she started and my heart sank, suspecting my few minutes of peace was about to be ruined.
We began to chat, and I sensed her loosening up a little. I asked which floor of the building she worked on and she responded that she usually worked from home.
When I asked where, we had one of those interactions where the other person keeps repeating "you're kidding me!" Not only did we live in the same suburb of the same regional city - more than an hour away from the training location - we were almost neighbours.
In that moment, our relationship transformed. She was laughing and telling me what she did on the weekend, and we were comparing notes about living in a wonderful part of the world.
The afternoon session had a very different flavour. Now she was my ally, offering supportive comments and happily taking part in discussions.
At the end, when everyone was sharing what they’d taken away from the day, she was enthusiastic in describing her key learnings and what she would apply. It was a massive turnaround.
Pondering it later, one word stood out. Rapport.
It’s easy to form a negative impression in the first few seconds of an encounter. By finding a connection point - even accidentally as in this case - you can form better relationships and achieve more.
Often, our day-to-day busy-ness gets in the way of building rapport with those around us. We race in and out of meetings and have rapid-fire conversations where we quickly say our piece and escape.
Taking a few seconds to go deeper and find common ground can make a significant difference.
What can you do today to build rapport? You'll also be strengthening trust and nurturing valuable relationships that can power you towards shared results.
Want more of my message?
Book me as a speaker at your conference, leadership retreat or event via this link: https://www.neryleast.com/contact-neryl
Dr Neryl East is a professional speaker and executive coach who shows leaders how to be heard, stand out and command influence. Connect with Neryl on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/neryleast/
